life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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