My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
birth control should be required to get into college
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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