Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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