id be glad to
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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