I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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