Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
