Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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