I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize