As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
