i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize