just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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