Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
