I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
