the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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