just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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