Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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