I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize