he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize