their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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