bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
