Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
