Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
