Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize