She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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