I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize