Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
