well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
