I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize