so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
