She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize