He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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