i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
did i just pee glitter
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
