so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize