If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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