My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
