i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
