we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
