I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
