i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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