I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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