Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
