And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize