we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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