he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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