Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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