five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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