I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
