I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You can't motorboat a personality
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you inspire me to be a worse person
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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