It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize