i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
