Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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