I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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