apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize