I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
