gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize