Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
