just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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