Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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