I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
too bad you live with your parents still
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
