I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
