The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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