I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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