Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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