Sry I called you an 8
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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