Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
